In working through disagreements and various forms of conflict, we can easily get stuck and may not always know how to move forward or have constructive conversation. This video is a great resource and offers guidance for working through conflict. In addition to the link, I have included a written guide based on the video. I hope you find this helpful in your relationship.
Conflict Resolution Questions to Guide Conversation
1.)How do I feel?
-Use an “I” statement and just one feeling/emotion word: “I feel _________”
-Do not insert additional thoughts, interpretations, or other things about your partner.
2.) What do I want?
-What is it we are fighting for?
-What is my/our larger life dream?
3.) How does the past play into the present?
-How is it affecting me now?
4.) What do I get out of staying stuck?
-What is being reinforced for me?
5.) What needs to be said (to your partner)?
-In a structured way: What hard truth needs to be told?
6.) What agreements have I broken?
-Opportunity to take ownership of broken agreements; both known and unknown/hidden.
7.) How can I be of service to my partner?
Isaac Jacobs, LCSW, is a counselor serving individuals, families, and adolescents. He specializes in improving communication between couples, working through life crises and transitions, and working on overcoming barriers to growth.